Just a couple of things that made me laugh

Firstly, yesterday on the way to work, I passed another biker. There is a sort of ‘brotherhood’ among bikers, from the monster touring bikes the size of a small camper van down to the 49cc scooter. Bikers often nod or wave acknowledgement of each other when they meet. And yesterday morning I passed a guy I meet every now and then. We exchanged nods and I contemplated how it’s quite a nice thing all the way to work. Then, as I entered Bedale, I passed a small wizened old woman, like a cross between Paul Daniels and a brown Yoda, in one of those little mobility cart thingies, and… She nodded a kindred-spirit acknowledgement at me! I almost swerved into a car. I am on a motorbike. It’s only a 125, but that does not put me in the elite brotherhood of the octogenarian mobility set! WE ARE NOT THE SAME! I chuckled about it the rest of the day.

Secondly, I checked out the local ‘Freecycle’ message boards this morning and the top post on the board says ‘Taken: Logs – Scruton.’ Of course, as I scrolled down the page, what I saw was ‘Taken: Dog’s Scrotum.’ I really dislike it when coffee comes out of my nose, but it did on this occasion! I had just recovered and was scrolling down when I saw ‘TAKEN ride on unicorn.’ And choked again. I don’t know whether this refers to an object or an activity, but it made me laugh anyway. Finally, on that page of message board, I was intrigued by the DVD player that was available and came with its own ’scat cable’. The mind boggles.

That’s it, I’m afraid, for today. Short post and then off to more work! Still, it’s Friday and it may still not rain tomorrow. Hopefully not as we’ve invited friends round for a BBQ! Oh, and I started the update to the website last night. Gradually improving!

http://www.sjaturney.co.uk

(p.s. ……… BUY MY BOOKS! Ahahahaha.)

(Updated later:) Just had one of the weirdest lunches I ever had with my friend Mr Shinyhead. Firstly a couple came in and sat at the next table. He weighed about 5 st, wore a tank top, had an overbite and a pudding bowl haircut. She weighed about 25 st. Not in fat, either! She was the most bulky, butch, hairy woman I have ever laid eyes on. She could probably have beaten a Jeep to death. And she had a moustache. Not a hairy lip, but a moustache. Of the sort a Confederate dandy cavalry general might have proudly sported. Once they had sat down, looking like a horrifying comedy double-act, she promptly went outside for 30 mins and chain-smoked her way through around 15 cigarettes. Meanwhile hubby, who was of the stumbling, confused persuasion, kept leaving his chair and looking for his trophy wife in alcoves, staff-only doorways etc, and eventually made his way outside, where his wife would turn him around and march him back to his seat. She would go back out to her cigarette and he would then repeat ad nauseam!

And as I walked out of the pub, a man walked in with unruly hair and one missing tooth, wearing a very Monarch-Of-The-Glen tweed suit with open-toed sandals. He stopped at the three steps in the middle of the pub, stood blocking the way for several minutes, slowly rotating as he took in the whole pub. And then sat down on the floor.

This is the kind of place where we live. It’s like living at Happy Acres!