Google ate my mail and other Tomfoolery

What is wrong with this picture?

I don’t want to insult your intelligence if you spotted it instantly. Cleaning out my inbox on Google Mail I went from 76 threads to 26. I then archived the ones that are resolved. And just in case you missed it, this screenshot of my inbox after the cleanup claims to be showing me items 1-6 of 5.

WTF?

I use Google Checkout for certain purchases. So what we’re saying is that the people who have dealt with hundreds of pounds of my money believe you can display 1-6 of 5 items? I shall be checking through my financial records! “You have paid £45 of the £35 invoice…”

In other mail-oriented news (I fall on the ‘oriented’ side of the ‘oriented’ or ‘orientated’ debate):

I have ordered from Borders bookstore (drum roll please…) 20 copies of “Marius’ Mules” and 20 copies of “Interregnum”, along with a copy of Prue Batten’s “The Stumpwork Robe”. Just in case anyone with a command of the English Language and an internet connection hasn’t already heard… these are the books I have written (check out the pages top right) and the 40 are for sale/promotional stuff. Anyhoo…

So, in the near future I will be receiving 41 books. I have checked the order history, and they are apparently coming by 1st class post. Now, I live in a small rural North Yorkshire village. It’s like something from a picture postcard, or from Postman Pat. Or possibly from the League of Gentlemen, but anyway… The postman takes his small van out from Bedale and does the deliveries for around half a dozen villages in the morning. In our village, he parks at the top and does his cheery, whistling journey round the top green with his bag of letters and then drives to the other and and does his citcuit of the bottom green a pied.

I know, it’s like something out of the Famous Five. I am aware of this. I’m considering going looking for the railway tunnels of the secret railway beneath the village, once I can find an arrogant toff, a butch lesbian, a simpering girlie-girl, a scally and a mutt. I jest. I actually always liked the Famous Five. But it is a reasonable character assessment I feel.

Anyway, back to the story. So the postman essentially carries a bag of letters round about 25 houses. He is going to be less than his usual cheery self when he discovers he has my post to deliver and he needs to make two trips back to the depot for my house alone! Each book is 440 pages and 5″x9″. So you can imagine the weight. Now multiply it by 41. I am going to be receiving stomped-on mail for the rest of my life after this.

Oh, and on saturday night I found the joy of looking up old comedy and kids’ stuff on YouTube, including Captain Beaky, Bernard Cribbins’ ‘Right Said Fred’, Terry Scott’s ‘My Brother’ and many, many others. Then we moved on to watching excepts from Dave Allen and Bob Newheart.

Excellent.

Ciao all. Gotta go send a letter of apology to the postman. Of course, I’ve carved it in granite and addressed it to our house…