S.J.A.Turney's Books & More

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Christmas

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Is there anything sillier than Deal or No Deal on DVD game? It’s basically a game of complete and utter chance created as a vehicle back to success for Noel Edmonds (who’s last career change was during the Cretacious period). As a multiplayer party game it leaves something to be desired. It’s slightly less exciting than a free gambling, wenching and drinking weekend in Scunthorpe with Terry Waite. And here I am on Christmas night playing it with a wide variety of people.

So… Mum’s three sheets to the wind and keeps forgetting when it’s her turn in games, laughs hysterically a lot and occasionally fails to stand up. There’s a whole bunch of kids (who are actually being very good) but were given all facilities with a room of their own complete with DVD and promptly refused even to enter it.

My father in law got his Christmas presents at our house, but had already been given his motorbike racing DVD by his son and was far too intent on it to more than half-heartedly unwrap anything else anyone gave him. We had my outlaws over for a dinner cooked by Mrs Moosehunter that would certainly have fed Angola and maybe half of the Ivory Coast. I peeled enough sprouts to bury a Chieftain tank. There’s so much stuffing alone that you could encase a human being in it.

Then there was the strangest incident wrapping presents yesterday. In 34 years I’ve seen many things being wrapped as christmas presents, but never fish. I started laughing hysterically as I watched Mrs Moosehunter gift-wrapping a kipper and a mackeral in lovely shiny paper and then putting them back into the fridge. What the hell have I married into?!?!

I got Rome: Total War, which I will be playing for some time, the V for Vendetta and Sin City DVDs which I have been dying to see, some whisky, chocolate, other miscellaneous food (oh and our cooker and carpets!) One thing we got from my Great Aunt that I’m particularly looking forward to is a jar of ‘Devil’s Revenge Mustard’.

Lots of coal fires, cold air, so much whisky that my liver has been coughing and hiccuping since about 3pm, enough food to present me moving until my 50th birthday. Altogether a truly successful Christmas.

‘Tis the season to be jolly and the season of goodwill to all men (which should worry women, children and all other non-human male members of the animal kingdom) and as such…

Merry Christmas and Dog bless us everyone.

Moosey

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Written by SJAT

January 7, 2010 at 4:13 pm

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