S.J.A.Turney's Books & More

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Dogs, Moving, Notes & Goats.

with 2 comments

USE YOUR FOURTH LEG, DAMMIT!

Our Murphy is a big Jesse! I kid you not. He’s a mummy’s boy and a coward and lots of other derogatory things I can’t be arsed to think up. (For those of you just joining us, Murphy is a Lurcher and a rescue dog.) Ok, he hurt his leg quite badly. Bruised twisted and a three-stitch cut on the knee. Well newsflash fella: that’s what happens when you do circuits around a slatted wooden shed at 30mph while keeping your eyes on the brother you’re intent on catching. I would like to think that he might learn something from this, but since he’s got the IQ of a banana split I sincerely doubt it.

Anyway, basically he hurt his leg and had quite a large cut on the knee. That was Saturday. It’s now Thursday and he’s still walking on three legs most of the time, holding the other one up. I can’t decide whether he’s doing this because he thinks it will get him more sympathy or because he’s just so daft he’s forgotten he’s got a fourth leg. We all know he can put weight on it and walk normally. We’ve seen him when he thinks we’re not watching and he puts it back down and walks on it. He’s even forgotten he’s supposed to be wounded a couple of times and stood on his back legs to paw at us. So we know. We know.

We will all be grateful when he’s allowed to run again and he has his stitches out. Most of all, I suspect, my parents will. Because I work 8:30 to 5 and Mrs M works long enough days, my parents are watching Murphy like a hawk for all the hours in between to make sure he doesn’t run/eat his stitches/do WWF Smackdown with his brother. And my parents have a dog of their own. And work. And a house. And a life. And Murphy’s kind of ridden over all of that (though admittedly only with three legs.)

Coming up at work over the next couple of days (yes including Saturday) is a complete move around of one floor of our office. This has been arranged with the customary Soulless Corporation TM attitude to planning. No one has been told what time we’re starting moving desks on Friday. Are some people keeping working while we move the others? Has any provision been made for them if they are? Who is doing what? What order is it all happening in? Add to this the distinct lack of communication and consequent rumour and it gets really interesting. I have been told by a friend that I must be looking forward to moving upstairs again. I’m moving upstairs? Why has no-one mentioned it to me? My colleague ‘Farmer Palmer’ from the Wolverhampton office is coming up to help. He asked me if we had a drill here. Why? Well to put up the new whiteboards of course. What whiteboards? The ones that we’re putting up upstairs in your office. Are we? When was this announced? Arrrrgh! Somebody please clarify something. Anything! I just don’t care, but post a bulletin or something. I’m only the man expected to move the desks and recable all the computers, printers and so on.

On an altogether different note, I can’t help but wonder how many people read this collection of random drivellings. I know many of my friends and family do (which is partially why I’ve got nicer and use less bad language these days) and a few friends on diaryland do, but what about people who randomly drop in? A guy called heartlesturk dropped me a note a few weeks back and I suddenly realised that other people were reading. I can’t for the life of me understand why, but there you go. If you’re a casual visitor, feel free to drop me a note and say hi. I’m interested and, now that Doro Pesche from Warlock is no longer flaunting her stuff on the stage, I only stalk my wife. Honest.

My best man sent me a link this morning to a news report about a man in the Sudan who was caught rogering a goat. The owner of the goat went to the village council for advice and, rather than turn him over to the police, they made him fork out a dowry and marry the goat! How cool is that?

That’s probably all I need to drivel about right now.

See you in the funny pages

Moosehunter

Written by SJAT

December 24, 2010 at 12:02 pm

2 Responses

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  1. I read it cos tis cool (literate and carefully composed when I am being posh) as well as genuinly funny and even touching at times. Does that make you blush. Have 3 of your books, getting the fourth – all from Amazon.ca here in Canada – where we are getting far less snow than you.

    Looking forward to more books and notes

    Like

    David Hughes

    December 31, 2010 at 12:27 am

    • Hi David.

      Good to hear from you and, as you probably know by now if you read this, I blush easily. Thank you for that, too. I’m always faintly thrown by complements, and now I’m blushing again! Hope you enjoy the next book then. Happy new year, my friend. I’m always a little baffled by time zones, and I had to think for a while before deciding whether it was still 2010 in Canada, or perhaps tomorrow. I confuse easily.

      Have a good one.

      Si

      Like

      SJAT

      January 1, 2011 at 1:16 pm


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