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Factoids

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Totally uninteresting facts about Moosehunter:

  1. I own a suit of armour. Actually, it’s Lorica Segmentata (Roman overlapping plates.) It has never been worn yet for anything but fancy dress. No, I have not used it for anything kinky. Yet. Important fact: When I had it made, the armourer asked for 3 torso measurements and to my distress they all came out as 40″. As far as I can see, this logically makes me cuboid, which I feel is an unattractive shape unless you’re a box.
  2. Cooked carrot is food from Satan’s bum. I will pick cooked carrot out of anything. I mean anything. If you feed me something that has mere-tiny-nano-fragments of boiled carrot barely visible to the naked eye, I will spend so long picking them out, the food will go cold. Conversely, if I see unattended raw carrot on your plate, be aware that I will swipe it while you are looking away.<br>Quote from Blackadder:<br>”And the Lord said unto the children of Bedinibott, `Neither shalt thou eat the fruit of the tree that is known as the Carrot Tree’.”
  3. Until I started writing a few years ago I have never known what I wanted to do, but here are a few of the things I briefly aimed for, when they appealed, and why they have been shelved as plans: Roman soldier (aged 6-36). Not actually shelved… I still sometimes wake up with my eyes screwed up tight and my hands gripped, muttering ‘please’ under my breath. Software Engineer (aged 18-19). Shelved because I failed the Statistics portion of a computing course. It is of supreme irony that I now have no interest in the field, but am actually a software engineer! Barrister (aged 19-20). Shelved when I attempted a law A-level and realised no Lego was involved and you had to think too hard and remember names. Archaeologist (Aged 20-21). Not so much shelved as on the back burner until being an archaeologist doesn’t cost so much to achieve and pays better than McDonalds. Teacher (Aged 30-35). Largely shelved because no one wants to learn the things I can teach.
  4. None of my favourite words are rude, but they all sound like it: Flaps. Nodule. Spume. Pimhole. Fusticle. Spoo. Floss. Grommit. Hairy. Pert. Note that not all of these words exist in a standard dictionary, but they were all coined by someone else (e.g. Pimhole was Stephen Fry & Hugh Laurie.)
  5. When I am completely alone, I tend to run around waving my arms or vault up and down stairs, or just dance like a man being mildly electrocuted. This is a hell of an admission. No one has ever seen this but my dogs. Not even Mrs M!
  6. I have a pathological fear of: Spiders – See many earlier entries. Heights – Anything above footstool, pretty much. Butchers – Though I’m not a vegetarian, I have been before, and I still speed up as I move past them and hold my breath. Things could be worse. My dad is terrified of buttons!

Ah well. 6 should be enough for now.

See you tomorrow.

Moosey.

Written by SJAT

January 11, 2011 at 4:10 pm

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