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For the love of dog, no!

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FOR THE LOVE OF DOG, NO! I don’t think this is healthy…

So where were we? Our dogs must have pulled the wool over our eyes when they arrived. We never saw the glowing red eyes or the horns or the little bursts of fiery breath. We thought they were ordinary dogs, not the hounds of Lucifer. Ah, but we were wrong.

We love our dogs. They’ve cute and they certainly love us. If only they would stop everything! And every time they make us angry enough to shout at them they look sooooo sorry and down heartened and won’t come near us for a while. But then they sit there and look cute and you just can’t stay angry for too long. (Side note: I shout at the dogs and I may smack them lightly on the nose when they do something wrong, but no matter how bad they are, I never hurt them.)

The indoor urination is wearying, but we accept that as they’re not used to being in a nice house after years of being in a concrete dog run with different rules. We have two conceivable new approaches to how to deal with this: 1) we move the sofa and TV into the bathroom and live in there and come out to the hall carpet to pee like they do. 2) Every time they pee on our carpet, we go and pee in their bed. How’d ya like THEM apples doggies? Eh?

But you can see from the picture just how much stuff they’re destroying. Honestly, I’m wondering whether it would have been more destructive if we’d gone to the Natural Disasters home instead and picked up and old unloved volcano or tsunami.

On top of this, they have taken to howling, shrieking and barking in the kitchen from around 5:30 am every day. I do not want to be up at 5:30 every day. Or in fact any day. I do not believe in there being two 5:30s in any given day. I have started walking like one of those drunks you see late at night who keep sidling into walls and having to take a step backwards to retain their balance. In my case it’s the lack of sleep. I refuse to go to bed at the silly-o-clock time required for me to deal with this regime and still get 8 hours sleep. If I want to get a full night and be alert when the dogs howl me down in the morning, I would have to go to bed at 9 for 9:30. I have not gone to bed at that time since the only thing I could say was ‘goo goo, gaga’. (no, not last Thursday you funny bastards.) If I went for that regime I would be spending roughly 3 hours out of every 24 with my wife and that’s just not enough. So tonight I’m going to try letting the dogs sleep in the lounge.

There is a goodly amount of logic behind this. Murphy does not like bed (or more specifically I think, does not like the kitchen). When it’s bed time, I take their dog bed through to the kitchen and usher them out. Seth goes. He doesn’t look thrilled, but he goes. Murphy burrows down deep into the sofa and anchors himself there. I have to pretty much drag/lift him off the sofa and then push him all the way into the kitchen. He actually plants his feet firmly down and I have to push him along like a stuffed dog! And finally we get into the kitchen. I then close the door to stop him going back in and open the back door for them to go out before bed. They do so and then Murphy will not come back in. He goes to the far end of the yard and sits down. He REALLY doesn’t like sleeping in the kitchen. I know I’m a bit of a softy, but no dog we’ve ever had has been confined to the kitchen of a night and it feels mean to me. Plus our house is old and can be chilly. I believe that all the early-morning shrieking is Murphy telling me he’s cold, scared and worried. I have the feeling that if we let them sleep in the warmer lounge, we will have to get them up in the morning when we want them to go out, rather than the other way around. Anyway… tonight is the test.

This is quite a long entry isn’t it…

I think that’ll do for now as it’s almost 9 am and I need to start work now.

Cheerio all.



Written by SJAT

February 28, 2010 at 10:01 am

2 Responses

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  1. I’m certain the lounge will work. They’ll sleep so well they won’t wake up. We lost our 7 1/2′ leather sofa to our indoor pets. At some point you don’t care if it means sleep! Jules



    March 3, 2010 at 4:01 am

  2. Sorry, now I recall your next entry! Jules



    March 3, 2010 at 4:05 am

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