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Hail Stones

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I began writing an entry yesterday, but I got kind of bogged down. You see, basically nothing faintly amusing or really earth-shaking seems to have happened on the 12th of May, so in the end, after much soul-searching, I decided the best way to commemorate the most boring day in history was to do nothing about it at all.

Having checked the charts for May 13th, I thought we might be stuck with another dull day, until I came across this little gem:

1975 – Hailstones the size of tennis balls hit Wenerville, TN.

Now hailstones the size of tennis balls are unusual, sure, but not necessarily funny. Wenerville, on the other hand, is borderline hilarious. And the curious thing is I can’t find out anything about any of this. I cannot find Wenerville, Tennessee on the net, on a map, on Multimap, on Google Earth… Wenerville does not exist. Needless to say I tried Wienerville and Weinerville and still no joy. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that on May 13th 1975 so many tennis-ball sized hailstones hit Wenerville that it was completely obliterated and wiped off the map. So there you have it. Today in 1975 some big hailstones hit a town that may or may not exist in Tennessee and that place ceased to exist.

And on a more personal level… For weeks now Mrs M and I have been planning to take a weekend off. I mean completely off. The most exertion I intend is making the coffee, or perhaps washing up. But for some reason this mythical relaxing weekend has so far completely failed to happen. For several weekends in a row we’ve furnished the house, laid carpet, shifted wardrobes, cleaned the house completely, re-done the garden and so on. Even when we haven’t been working, we’ve been at least double- (and on one occasion triple-) booked for social events.

We’ve refurnished quite a lot of the house, replacing the cheap Argos furniture we got as a quick-fix when we first moved in together with proper good-quality pine. And the back yard has, for several weeks, looked like a cross between a furniture warehouse and a rubbish tip. We’ve managed to give away much of the better stuff to people, and last night we set about sawing and chopping up the rest and burning it in the fireplace. We must look borderline insane I guess. We keep bringing chests of drawers out into the back yard. Then in late evening there’s chopping sounds and the next time the neighbours look it’s gone, and a fresh bucket of ash has been emptied into the bags outside. If anyone’s seen “The Burbs” with Tom Hanks, we’re probably starting to look like that household.

I am starting to get sick of furniture. And… I used the dreaded ‘Roundup’ on the weeds in the front garden and back yard and incredibly our hedge and trees seem to still be alive. I was thoroughly expecting one morning to get up, look out of the window and see a grey-ashen wasteland for about 200 feet around our house. I have aim! Who knew? It’s certainly never been apparent with a paintball gun or a set of darts (witness the many holes in the club wall just below the dartboard!)

In just over two weeks we go to Istanbul. I’m somewhat excited. I’m very much looking forward to visiting all the sites that we’ve marked. As usual with our holidays we’ve marked a number of sights that would take a normal tourist about 3 weeks to cover, but we’ll do it in about 5 days. I’ve even hunted down ramshackle apartment blocks in the city that have one wall that dates back to the Byzantine era. Yes, I AM that sad. And, of course, I’m very much looking forward to Efes beer, Raki, proper Turkish foods and even smoking the hubbly-bubbly pipes. Yes, I know I don’t smoke any more, but this is different. Well I think it is!

Oh-ho. Afternoon looms. Gonna get back to work in a min, then go home, take the dog to the vets for the umptieth time, pay a small national debt for his treatments and… Chop some furniture up.

See you in the funny pages.

Moosehunter

Written by SJAT

January 11, 2011 at 2:50 pm

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