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It’s a dog’s life…

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Well it’s been an interesting weekend. We are about to become doggie people! Not dodgy people, as we’ve been that for quite some time. This weekend we went to the dog’s home that we always support and have put our names down for two three-year-old Lurchers that were so lovely I couldn’t help it. Their names are currently Morris and Myers, though they’ve only had those names for six months since they arrived at the dog’s home. Neither of us like ‘Morris’ or ‘Myers’ as names. Morris sounds like an old man’s name to me and Myers always makes me think of the stuttering guy who ran the toyshop in Ripon when I was a kid, so we can’t keep those names. Besides, together Morris & Myers sound like a car. Thus, when we pick them up in a couple of weeks they will be Seth & Murphy. Don’t laugh, it’s taken all weekend and a lot of blue-faced arguing from both of us to agree on two names. Since she won’t let me have things like Lucifer or Bastard and I won’t let her have names like Turnip or Boo, we’re fairly limited to names we will both agree to call out of the back door. I still fancy shouting ‘LUCIFER… HEEL! COME ON BASTARD… TIME FOR DINNER!’

So.. Two lazy and good-natured lurchers. But before we get them we have to put a fence across the end of the garden. I, being the brainless prat I am, volunteered to do the fence. You need at this point to remember that I have the same amount of natural aptitude for DIY as a carrot. I am largely incapable of doing such simple things as changing a plug. Thus to volunteer for something as major as fence-building is probably the most stupid thing I’ve done in months. My father in law has supplied fencing panels and posts and a large number of esoteric tools that look like something a giant’s dentist would use. So on Sunday afternoon, after some initial planning and measuring, when the goods had arrived, I and Mrs Moosehunter started work. It was a brutally hard-working and extremely tiring hour, but at the end of it we had two of the posts in. I have been very proud of them and kept going outside to look at them all evening. We had to stop after the two as it started to get dark.

Then, late last night, I spotted the problem. We’ve put them in the wrong place! We now have to either completely redesign the whole fence or rip out all of sunday’s work and do it again one foot further away from the house. Mrs M doesn’t seem to have noticed the problem yet, but I don’t want to be the one to point it out…

And they’re so good and solidly bedded posts too. Bastard! (imagine a lurcher bounding back toward you here…)

So the next two weeks are going to be full of Mrs M and myself daily bringing home things in preparation for doggage. Tonight, most likely, she will come home with bowls for them and so will I. Therefore tomorrow we will both return the bowls thinking that we only need the others and will both buy the dogs beds instead. And so on. I think I’ll cut to the chase and just buy cute pointless stuff instead.

Ooh yes, and then there’s the food angle. We looked on the listing on their kennel at the dog’s home and they both had a tick against ‘Special dietary requirements’. I immediately panicked, as I really wanted these dogs and didn’t want to find problems that might get in the way. It turns out that our two laddies have delicate stomachs. They can’t be fed on such things as Pedigree Chum or such as the result is wet and splattery. Ok. So avoid the rich foods, got it. I don’t want Mrs M’s perfectly beige house to be redecorated so soon after the first go. So what do they need to eat? ‘Oh…’ says lady at the home, ‘they need to be fed on dry dog food mixed with a little chicken and rice’. Cool. Rice is remarkably cheap and turkey mince is not over-expensive. Their special dietary requirement may actually make them cheaper and easier to feed than normal dogs. Plus we eat chicken and rice ourselves quite a lot, so we can have a family meal! I might forego the dry dog food with that, but then you never know… After all, I too need healthy teeth and a nice glossy coat from time to time…

I’m now prepared for the day and waiting to see what fresh horrors monday holds for me.

Woof.

Moosehunter.

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Written by SJAT

January 7, 2010 at 4:35 pm

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