Much is happening in the world of Soulless Corporation TM and I’m dying to reveal it to the world, but at the moment it remains hush hush. When things are official, I shall snort and parody as much as I am able.
In the meantime, what do I have to tell?
I am going to Lancaster this weekend for a stag night for a man we shall call ‘Squid Boy’. Have I really never mentioned him before? Ah well. It shall be fun and I shall be the irritating one as I shall have to take my camera and visit the Priory Church and Roman Baths in Lancaster at some point during my sojourn. I don’t imagine he will mind.
I have also put myself down for Hotspur’s stag-do. It is in Blackpool (what is it with Lancashire? Doesn’t anyone realise I’m a Yorkshireman and my skin begins to itch not long after I pass Skipton?) We are there for two days and some of it involves playing golf! Needless to say, I have all the talent for golf that a chipmunk has at concert piano. I haven’t signed up for the golf yet and am doubtful that I will. Also, the FA Cup final is on that weekend and I get to watch it in the company of fellow drooling loonies. And the thing is that I support Watford. Watford are in the premiership this year and they are proving in the league to be to Premiership Football what I am to golf. Honestly, they’d still lose if the other team didn’t turn up. But (and this is the curious thing) they have managed to get as far as the semi-final of the FA Cup! Of course we play Manchester United in April, so my hopes of watching them at Hotspur’s stag in the final are about to be dashed. For you Americans, Watford FC vs Manchester United is a little like watching a grid-iron match between the Miami Dolphins and the Rhode Island Retired 10 pin Bowling League. Ah well. We can dream.
Some time I am going to bring my dictaphone to work and record Moleman talking so I can post it as a sound file. You’ll think it was manufactured or from a sick cartoon, honestly.
I have started up a collection of Soulless Corporation TM Souvenir Mugs. The various people who leave or are ejected do so fast that they rarely have time to collect their mugs. Thus I have the work mugs of Mad Woman, the Shiny One and Scatman Jon. It doesn’t appear that the others had personal mugs or maybe they actually took them, but I’m thinking about having them mounted on a wooden base with a small brass plaque giving their years of service.
Do you know that despite the age since I last wrote I have nothing else to report? Good lord!