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The Loch Ness Snickers

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Hell, I hope to start writing regular updates again now. There’s an awful lot going on. I shall give you the two bits of big news first.

I have a job! I’ve actually known I’ve had it for 3 weeks, but this being with the council, it took 2 and a half weeks for them to send me paperwork to fill in. I don’t yet have a start date, but it’ll be soon. It’s a bit daunting frankly, but it’s a job. Since it’s with the authorities, I’ve also had to fill in around thirty different sheets of paper telling them that I’m white and English, male and heterosexual. Damn this age of political correctness and ethnic questionnaires. Also, I’ve had to fill in a CRB form (Criminal Records Check) to assure the council that I don’t spend my off-hours outside work skinning people and eating their brains with a nice Chianti. Which, of course, I can start doing once I’ve got that check over with. Mmm-num-num. Who shall I start with?

And the other big news is Sciatica! Yes, the complaint is upon me. I always thought sciatica was something aged folks got, but guess what! Either it’s not, or I AM aged. Just woke up one morning about four weeks ago with a trapped nerve. I am now living on a floaty cushion of painkillers. Occasionally I see green penguins in the kitchen sink, but most of the time I’m fine, thank you matron. Hee hee hee. Actually, I find the worst time is sleeping, and consequently I’m usually awake for at least an hour a night somewhere in the middle, muttering the word ‘bugger’ over and over, not loud enough to wake Mrs M, while I revolve in bed trying to find a comfortable position, and well aware that there isn’t one. And, by the way, the scooter’s being sold. I now have my dad’s Honda 125. I’m going up in the world. Especially when I go over bumps fast. Needless to say, biking can be agonising in my current predicament (that’s a predicament that’s going on now, not a predicament that involves dried fruit by the way). I have to time my painkillers so that I take them at least half an hour before any bike ride.

I’ve actually got tons to say, since I haven’t seen you all in a platypus’ age.

Tomorrow I go to Inverness. Actually, Mrs M, me, my brother and sister in law and parents in law are all going. Brother in law, who we shall call ‘Legs’ is running the Loch Ness Marathon. For this I applaud him. It is brave and cool. And not a little barmy. Then there’s my sister in law (well they’re engaged, so almost) who we shall call Nessie, appropriately enough. She’s doing the 5k run, which I am reliably informed by someone brought up in the metric age, is about 3 miles. And Mrs M is running the 10k (presumably 6 miles.) And finally we come to parents in law and me. We’re the cheerleaders. Hell I couldn’t run more than a mile if I was in full health. Right now, I can manage to shamble about eight feet, lurching like Quasimodo after riding a wide horse. And walking like that I still passed an interview!!

Think I’ll leave it there for now. Nice to see you all again. I note even Dangerspouse has written recently. Cool.

See you later.

Moosey

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Written by SJAT

January 11, 2011 at 3:44 pm

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