S.J.A. Turney's Books & More

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Trials and tribulations

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Already the two nuclear-strength air-fresheners in the room after a week are too feeble to hold the moleman smell at bay. IT’s positively nausiating. The man is to hygeine what Attila the Hun was to international relations. He may be the strangest, most annoying creature ever to push its face up and surface in the North of England. I’ve read of medieval dragons that have been less disliked.

In addition, in stopping for a sandwich this lunchtime, I proved the old rule once again. If there is a normal salesperson behind the counter and a freaK of nature, guess which one I’ll get? E-man and myself went in for a sandwich. E-man got the girl who’se still not marked her bicentennial birthday and rattled quickly through the ‘what would you like’ stage, filling bread with the appropriate. I, of course, got the woman who cheered the boys back after Rorke’s Drift and the battle of Isandlwana in the 1890s. She started by asking me the fine detail of what salad I would like on my sandwich and I, knowing she’d have forgotten by the time it came to add it, told her, smiling. She then asked where the lemon chicken (my choice of mail filling) actually was. As if I’d know? It might be the wobly white stuff down the front? She then filled the sandwich with half the normal amount of filling and proceded to ask me AGAIN what salad I’d like. I explained again and she faffed for several minutes, underfilling it and dropping most of it in the tubs of main fillings. Honestly, I always get the retard in such circumstances.

All in all, today’s being a pretty trying day without trying at all!



Written by SJAT

January 5, 2010 at 4:23 pm

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